Ghost of my beating heart.

Sometimes I delve into my thoughts like I delve into your brown eyes. 

Listen to my heart beating whose rhythm only spells your name.

The skin on my hand tingles in anticipation as I think about touching you. Holding you.  being embraced like a child.

I close my eyes,  trying to get a hint of your cologne.
Crazy? 
Maybe. 

But it doesn't matter.

I smile. You're here.  

Maybe not physically,  but in a deeper way.  I can feel you. Hell,  I can even see you. 

You're there with me in everything I do. May it be just a chore. I know you enough to imagine you sitting beside me with your legs tucked under you,  commenting on my very move.

Sometimes,  I can't wait to see you.
I grow restless.  But I know that it's worth it.
I sleep peacefully because I'm assured that I'll see you the next day.
It's a sweet kinda love. But it's agonizing too.

Because when you reluctantly leave my side,  the ghost of my beating heart almost runs after you only to be reined by the hope that I'll see you again tomorrow.

Keep dreaming!

Love ain't what you think.

If it doesn't make you feel immortal,
it ain't love.
If it doesn't make you feel as if you can swim a thousand miles for a kiss,
it ain't love.
If it doesn't make your heart clench with fear when you see "We need to talk."
It ain't love.
If it doesn't break you to see them break,
it ain't love.
If you don't feel like showing them off,
it ain't love.
If you don't feel as if you're the luckiest person on this galaxy,
Then, no sweetie, then it ain't love.
Love isn't measured by PDA or texts.
It measured, that's why it is love.
Love ain't easy.
It is a path of thorns where you go for the sweet release to numbness.
So is it worth it?

Heart < Mind

turn away

           (please don't)

and let me live with all this pain.

                        (don't)

just walk away

                  (no)

just turn your pretty face

                          (if you do, I'll die)

tell me the truth

                              (I rather live with lies)

because I don't care anymore

                          (oh, I care for you more than ever)

living in this web of misery I've turned to stone

                                                    (have I?)

tell me everything, make me hate you

                                ( we both know that I can't hate you)

cause hate runs deeper than love

                                            (does it?)

cause hate runs faster than blood

                                       ( I guess, it does.)







Keep Dreaming!

Picture Perfect?

 It's surprising how I've learnt to live without you.
I look at our pictures and it strikes me;
that smile,
which used to make my tummy cartwheel
no longer has the same effects.
those eyes,
which seem to look deep inside my soul
no longer do.
that warmth,
which I used to feel, even if you were not there,
turned into waves of coldness.
the emotions I used to feel,
are numb.
The person beside me in those pictures,
I no longer recognise him.
Our picture is just a picture now, not the
masterpiece I used to think it was.
And the people in the pictures,
they are no longer the same.
Photographs do not change, people do.


Keep Dreaming!

Agony.

She'll never get used to your embrace.
She'll never get used to your tides.
She'll never be enough of what you want.
She'll never be able to roll the dice.
Her love, it consumes her, but never burns out.
Like a never ending fuel, it's clean and without a doubt.
You and your electric soul, they consume her. But it's only your love which will excuse her. From this constant agony which has enclosed her.
You may love her or not, you may want to want her or not.
But she's the one who would happily sell a piece of her soul for a minute fragment of your thoughts.

Keep Dreaming!

Gone.

He's gone.
The moment your mind registers this, your heart does a back flip.You actually laugh at the words.
How the hell can that happen?
He isn't like that.But the expression on his face tells a different story.
He's gone, girl. He is not the the same anymore.Your mind screams at you but your heart yells in defense.

"You cannot end this. Not like this."

His face wears an expression of guilt. A tear escapes his eye and rolls down.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"
He's crying now. The whole story pours out. All about the arguments, the fights.. everything.
 He cannot do this.No! Not to me! Your heart tells me but your mind knows the truth.As he makes his way towards the exit, he turns back , at you.
"I hope we still are friends. Best friends. Just like we used to be."
"Yeah. Like we used to be."
As his lean silhouette gets veered from your sight, the reality of the situation smacks you down, on your knees.
The tapestry, you both wove with your love and trust, was torn down by him.

Destroyed.

There was nothing you can do.
Move on.Your heart and your mind say simultaneously.

Keep Dreaming!

A Beautiful Mess.

A Beautiful Mess.

There comes a point in your life when you just want to run away. But you also want to stay to see the inevitable. The tears can't stop streaming down your face and all you think is,
"I'm broken."

You see your broken pieces lying on the floor but you can't do anything. Everything relates back to 'it'.

It destroyed you.

Hacked on and on until nothing was left to put together. Your life becomes an endless cycle of profound actions and a jumble of words. Mumbling and cursing. You want to do something, anything to break the cycle but you watch helplessly as you get sucked in a black void of nothingness. Bitter feeling arise for those you loved, those you cared for. You always remain unhappy as you know that the happiness will be short-lived and you'll return to your black house. Any small thing brings you on the verge of freaking tears, and if you're me, you hate to cry. Food is tasteless and tight smiles are baseless. Civility gets lost and the darkest part of you comes out.

Nothing clears up and you begin to wonder if anyone sees you the way you do. You don't want happiness. You just want peace and a clear mind and an end to your agony. The world spins around you and you wanna scream "STOP!" and freeze time and break away from the fear of losing something you never had. You show that you don't care but a watchful eyes is always kept over.
You loved. You lost.
You ended yourself in the peak of love.

Keep Dreaming!

You've broken me.

You've broken me.
Several times. Several places.
 But I've been able to gather my pieces back together and fit them in their right places.

But I'm afraid. I'm afraid because it is meant to happen and it will.
 One day, you'll break me so bad, like a china doll, that I'll not be able to put myself back together and the darkness, I've accumulated over the years, will start spilling.
People around me will be able to see the true face behind my mask.
 And that's exactly what I fear.
 Because there is no face.
There's just a broken shell of a girl, who ended herself in the peak of love. 

Keep Dreaming!