Festering wounds.

At first, pain is like a prick your skin.

Like getting sunburned on a sunny day at the beach, with sand still clinging on your skin after a volleyball win.

It suddenly swells into the pricks of a thousand needles. Like lying on a bed of thorns, each piercing into your skin,

                                                          slowly,

                                                                  as if it has all the time in the world, it kindles.

Then comes the hurt.

Like a slow, tantalizing drink.

                                        Slow and steady,

                                                                                it hurts to even blink.

It seeps into your core, you can feel it coursing through your veins,

It doesn't bleed,

but it almost makes you wish it did.

The worst part is the numbness that follows,

its like hurt, but just nothingness.

It just makes you wallow.

Like cold,

wet,

 heavy cement

making its way through your body,

Shutting down your mind,

your mind,

encasing your heart,

making you wish that things could go back to the start.

But when a wound reopens,

it festers.

it stings, it kicks,

it lashes out.

Shutting down your ability to think.

Shifting eyes, tapping toes

peeling skin, counting sores.

Its all you can think about.

How it felt, how you left.

Just like a drug, you start to crave it more and more.

You start seeking hurt out,

 just to feel something else than the hurt you feel now.

You start building walls around it.

but it keeps on festering, under your closed knit.

Until you forget and run your fingers over it again,

and your pain begins.

Anew.

What your love does to me.

You're the one who unleashes the beast.
Strokes its warm fur and coaxes it to wreak havoc on me.
You're the weak sunlight on a chilly winter day.
Spreading warmth and calmness and hope for better days.
You're the wave that starts as gentle but becomes proud and fierce.
Always moving forward.
You're that goddamn beautiful evening sky, that inspires people to create breathtaking pieces of art.
You're the one who makes me wonder about the meaning of our existence.
You give me purpose.
You're so so bloody beautiful that yes,
it hurts to look.
But you're mine.
So, I'd take thousand worth of hurt to come at your doorstep
for even a tenth of the cure.

Strangers.

 

She tried everything.

Didn't she?

Cut her hair that trendy.

Dressed up chicer.

Walked like she gave no damn.

And that swagger in her step made you wonder if she was really over you?

And for the teeniest moment, you wanted her back.

Wanted to wrap your arms around her nimble body and tell her that everything would be alright.

Tell her that the boy she was ruing over wasn't just worth it.

But you can't. Because you're the reason she's in tatters.Life moves in such a weird circle, doesn't it?

Strangers, then friends, then best friends, then lovers, and now you're back at being strangers.

You clench your fist on the thought of her going out with someone else. Only to remind yourself that she isn't yours anymore.

Will never be yours again.

Started out as strangers, and better of as the same.


Keep Dreaming!

Thief.

I swear
            all my parts are healed.
           I don't get flashbacks or much of that cheesy stuff.

All's good.
              Everything is working out fine.
              Heart beat is normal.
            Mind is in peace.

But you know what?
                         There's one only one thing you
              took away forever.

My innocence.
                  I was a naive girl.
                  A girl who blindly believed in love.
          She knew it would be hard.
 But even then,
              she took her chance
            for the one she loved.

And you,
           you stole her everything
             jumbled her world around
          kicked her heart across the inlays of her
           beautiful marble house of hope.
So bad
       that she lost her,
            love,
 hope,
           sanity,
  belief.

And now,
      I'm an atheist.
not in the sense of God
with a capital 'G'.
But in the sense of the
        world.

You made me grow up so fast.
I used to believe.
You weren't just my first love, lesson or whatever.
You were the thief of my aesthetics.


Keep Dreaming!

No Strings Attached.

love me,

because you're like a poem
easy and fun to read
but hard to decipher.
I'm the poet.
And I like challenges.

need me,

'cause like a wounded animal,
I'm in need for it.
caring hands
caressing words
a little warmth.

Care for me,

because a human always pines
for temporary delights.
and love,
well love is the most temporary
delight of all.
Care will always linger
like an aftertaste.

And,
       this love will have
no strings attached
because like a rubber band
promises always bounce back
and kills me inside.
     
            And this killing,
I cannot survive.
Just let me be a temporary delight
and pretend to love myself for being
a minute adrenaline rush in
someone's extensive life.



Keep Dreaming!

Picture Perfect?

 It's surprising how I've learnt to live without you.
I look at our pictures and it strikes me;
that smile,
which used to make my tummy cartwheel
no longer has the same effects.
those eyes,
which seem to look deep inside my soul
no longer do.
that warmth,
which I used to feel, even if you were not there,
turned into waves of coldness.
the emotions I used to feel,
are numb.
The person beside me in those pictures,
I no longer recognise him.
Our picture is just a picture now, not the
masterpiece I used to think it was.
And the people in the pictures,
they are no longer the same.
Photographs do not change, people do.


Keep Dreaming!

Messy Healing.

 I gave you my everything,
but my love wasn't enough to make you stay.
So you left me all alone,
and made me hit the bay.
Waking up each morning,
a constant pain is there,
which will diminish over time,
but now it's here and there.
I see you in every place I go,
you won't just go away,
But it lessens over time
 then why does your heart cut over mine?
Each and everyday.
I know time heals everything,
so why won't it heal me fast?
Seeing me in such a situation,
isn't it a big contrast?
So I wake up each morning,
 to hope to make you go away.
'Cause my heart can't bear so much,
but it's bearing it anyway.
In the night, I close my eyes,
to see you walk away.
A fresh wave of agony hits me now,
but oh well! I'll bear it anyway.
Until I heal, until I hope,
until I love again.
Until I see you in a garbage bin,
which will make me smile again. :)

Keep Dreaming!

Contradictions.

My life has been a series of contradictions. Every time I think I can't do it, I do. Every time I think yes, it is the end, it's not. Every time I try to hold myself back, I fail. Every time I try not to stumble on your stupid lies, I trip. Every time I try not to fall for those soft brown eyes, crooked smile and faint acne around your nose, I fall. I fall hard. It's so hard not to. I hold myself back from what I yearn because I know, that when you abandon me and I crash on the floor, with shudders running up and down my body, shaking me apart and I give my 100 per cent not to let the pieces of my heart scatter at your feet. I know that you won't be the who helps me to stop shuddering and sweep all those pieces. For I know this much that, I am alone.
Keep Dreaming!