Ghost of my beating heart.

Sometimes I delve into my thoughts like I delve into your brown eyes. 

Listen to my heart beating whose rhythm only spells your name.

The skin on my hand tingles in anticipation as I think about touching you. Holding you.  being embraced like a child.

I close my eyes,  trying to get a hint of your cologne.
Crazy? 
Maybe. 

But it doesn't matter.

I smile. You're here.  

Maybe not physically,  but in a deeper way.  I can feel you. Hell,  I can even see you. 

You're there with me in everything I do. May it be just a chore. I know you enough to imagine you sitting beside me with your legs tucked under you,  commenting on my very move.

Sometimes,  I can't wait to see you.
I grow restless.  But I know that it's worth it.
I sleep peacefully because I'm assured that I'll see you the next day.
It's a sweet kinda love. But it's agonizing too.

Because when you reluctantly leave my side,  the ghost of my beating heart almost runs after you only to be reined by the hope that I'll see you again tomorrow.

Keep dreaming!

What happened?

I lost you.

I lose. Everytime.

This is what happens.

I don't understand anything else. I don't want to.

Things have a certain way of working.

People don't.

People change and sometimes so drastically that when you're reduced to ashes, you ask yourself, what happened.

Circumstances happened.

Life happened.

The hurt comes from the fact that the same person that you loved will not come back.

That shy guy with big brown eyes has turned into something unrecognizable.
 And there's nothing you can do except accept it.
you do.
Your heart can't.
Because whatever happened.
You lost him.

Strangers.

 

She tried everything.

Didn't she?

Cut her hair that trendy.

Dressed up chicer.

Walked like she gave no damn.

And that swagger in her step made you wonder if she was really over you?

And for the teeniest moment, you wanted her back.

Wanted to wrap your arms around her nimble body and tell her that everything would be alright.

Tell her that the boy she was ruing over wasn't just worth it.

But you can't. Because you're the reason she's in tatters.Life moves in such a weird circle, doesn't it?

Strangers, then friends, then best friends, then lovers, and now you're back at being strangers.

You clench your fist on the thought of her going out with someone else. Only to remind yourself that she isn't yours anymore.

Will never be yours again.

Started out as strangers, and better of as the same.


Keep Dreaming!

Picture Perfect?

 It's surprising how I've learnt to live without you.
I look at our pictures and it strikes me;
that smile,
which used to make my tummy cartwheel
no longer has the same effects.
those eyes,
which seem to look deep inside my soul
no longer do.
that warmth,
which I used to feel, even if you were not there,
turned into waves of coldness.
the emotions I used to feel,
are numb.
The person beside me in those pictures,
I no longer recognise him.
Our picture is just a picture now, not the
masterpiece I used to think it was.
And the people in the pictures,
they are no longer the same.
Photographs do not change, people do.


Keep Dreaming!

Unkept Promises.

You said you didn't use me,
then why am I feeling like a whiskey bottle, which is only important until the drink's over. Gone.
You said you would never hurt me,
then why do I feel as if someone just ripped open my chest, yanked my heart and guts out and left me lying on the floor to die. But not quite dead.
Undead.
You said you'd never leave me,
then why am I feeling like a lone cigarette in the pack.
Unlit.
You told me that you'll never break my heart.
Then why do I feel as if it just broke into a thousand hundred pieces and there's nothing -NOTHING!- I can do to put it back.
Together.
You said you love me.
And now I look back to all these promises you didn't keep and why does it feel as if you never loved me at all.